Do It For Yourself

4:17 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments



  Do it For Yourself
In my entire life, I was never too skinny nor too heavy. I'm very petite, and my weight hovers around 45ish to 50 kg. During my secondary school, my weight was stagnant; it never really goes up or down. After I moved to Singapore, I lost several kilos and I was at my skinniest, at 44 kilos. Soon after I got into my last relationship, my weight climbs up until 49 kilos. I felt ugly, and fat because people around me were really skinny. What makes it worst, some people throws nasty comment at me saying how fat am I, and how I needed to lose weight so badly. It hurts like a bitch, and I used to be so upset because of that. The funny thing is, those who are close to me told me repeatedly that I only gain weight, but nothing too significant or anything. My dad was more than happy; he never likes either me or my sister to be too skinny. My –then- boyfriend, was telling me that as long as I'm happy, all is fine. But of course, as a normal human being I still care about what other people said. You know…. thoughts in your mind about what people will say about you. Then, I went on a diet mission based on people’s perception of me, not for myself which is a huge mistake. For 7 days I eat no carbs, and exercise regularly but it was really hard to keep up, and the weighing scale didn't move so much. This makes me feel even worse, because all of the efforts that I’ve put didn't really pay off. After awhile, I went for my study block in China. I didn't put too much attention to my weight as I have so many things going on there. I got food poisoning, and lose some weight. Gain it back easily because of all the good foods in China. But the funny thing is, I never felt once I have to lose weight. Of course I’ve said many times to my friend that I need to lose some weight, my arms are so big blablablabla but I was confidence under my own skin. You know why? Because people around me don’t care about how much I weigh. They never thought I should lose weight that my body was in the right state. They never throw insulting comments at me, not because they don’t want to, but I believe because they really think I didn’t have to lose any. I was at my heaviest while I was in China, I never weigh in while I was there, but I can totally feel my pants are getting smaller, but I never felt as good as I was.
Girls will always be girls, and of course who don’t want to get skinny? Blessed are those who were born like supermodels, but of course not everyone in the entire world has long legs and flat abs. My tummy is so big, it can compete with my dad’s. My mom thighs are much smaller than mine. Yes, it would be a total lie if I say I don’t want to lose weight. In fact, I’m currently doing a very strict diet programme. Not because I feel ugly, but because my body felt so heavy and I got tired easily. I REALLY want to be active. I’m young, only 20 years old, and being tired after a few run is not a good sign. See the difference before and after? Before, I tried to lose weight because I was scared of what other people might think. Now, I do it for myself (and if I really lose a lot of weight it’s a total bonus point :p). And really, if someone throws really mean comment on how you look just ignore them. Always remember this, what comes around, goes around. Karma is a bitch, always. This applies not only for weight but other things too. I got called ugly before too, indirectly of course. But it still feels like shit, doesn’t it? But really, ignore those comments; they are just unhappy about their lives. If you don’t feel like you need to lose weight, then don’t. You own yourself, don’t let other people tell you what you need to do. The most important thing is, be comfortable under your own skin, and stand firm on who you think you are. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, who will? Focus on what you are doing, be a better version of yourself, not for other people but for you!

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What It Feels Like: Living in Guangzhou

1:54 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments


 What It Feels Like: Living in Guangzhou

Based on the programme that I took during university, I was required to spend two study blocks overseas (outside Singapore) to complete my degree. The first study block was in Birmingham in early 2014 where everyone from the batch was required to go. On our final year, we got to choose where we want to go based on the university partner lists. China has always been on the top of my list, or more like… on the top of my parent list as they feel like learning Chinese is extremely important. So I put Guangzhou as my first choice, and got the seat. Things didn’t go as plan, and I ended up going with 3 different girls that I’m not very close with.  
      Before I went for my study block, my perception of China is it is extremely crowded and dirty. I remember clearly I told one of my close friends that I am going to lose weight because I might not like the food there (due to hygienic purposes). But now, 4 months after living in Guangzhou I ought to swallow my own word because……

1.         Food is Great
Food in Guangzhou is good and cheap. Let me illustrate how cheap food can be… for example, in Singapore, it costs about $120++ for dinner for two at Hai Di Lao, where as I never spent more than $20 in GuangZhou’s Hai Di Lao. At the beginning, like I always do when I’m adjusting to new environment… I don’t eat a lot. What makes it worst is that I got food poisoning (quite a bad one) for something that I ate that might be wasn’t really fresh. The food poisoning got so bad that I kept puking out everything that I ate, and my friends need to rush me to the hospital and I was needed to get a blood test. LOL serves me right, huh? But as time progresses, my stomach adjusts to the food in China, and now I miss all of those good and cheap food there. Talking about, ma la xiang guo and Hai Di Lao here. :*(

2.         Chinese are in general, kind.
Or at least those that I have come across to are. Of course there are those that we met that weren’t really nice, but in general they are very kind. Real life example, I lost my camera in a night club. HAHAHA you know.., one of those nights where everyone is just hmmmm, not really at their right state of mind? I wasn’t really aware of my camera and the next morning, all of us were like…. It’s gone! I was really sure that its gone forever and was telling my friend that I’m quite sad because I didn’t have any back up for the memory card ( I know, stupid of me). But my friends, as positive thinking as they always are were like saying at least we should try giving the club a call. And they found it. OH MY GOD, out of everyone and everything, someone was nice enough to return my camera to the security staff, and now my camera is safe and sound with me in Bali. I was super convinced that it’s gone, and ready to buy a new one. But, when the guy from the club called my friend back, I was like……. speechless. I mean, what are the chances?

3.         Shopping is Amazing
More like, it’s amazing and damn cheap. Even those brands like Zara, or H&M was generally cheaper I feel. I’m not very sure because I often use credit card to shop, and the conversion rate from rupiah to Chinese yuan might be slightly better than compared to Singapore dollar. They also have those small shopping centers that have great selection of clothes at very affordable prices. But, I can’t remember the name. We often shopped at Tian He underground, and Beijing Lu.

4.         Travelling is Great in China
China has a lot of amazing places to visit. I was based in Guangzhou (at the southern part of China), and we got to visit Guilin, as it is nearby. Not really nearby, but maybe like 2 to 3 hours train ride from Guangzhou as far as I remember. The train ride was not expensive at all, and surprisingly the train is clean and new. HA! We were anticipating how bad the train is going to be, but was quite surprised with how clean and new the train is. We also got the chance to visit Inner Mongolia, which is at northern part of China. The air fare costs like $300++ return, and we took private tours consisting only 4 of us. It was very pretty, and I enjoyed myself so much when we were there. There are many other places in China that I am interested in, for example Xi An, Kunming, Shang ri La, and of course Tibet, maybe sometime in the future.

Overall I really enjoyed my time spent in China not only because the place, but also the companionship that I had. My Chinese was really, really limited. Yes I studied Chinese for 3 years already, but it was really bad where as all of the girls that I went withhave perfect Chinese. I learned to just pretend that I understand what people said, and laugh when everyone laughs hahaha. My friends helped me a lot, and we had tones of fun and fights too :p. You know, try put 4 girls in a house, living together side by side, and see how crazy it can be. It was a really great time, and I often miss those times when I’m in Bali
Longji Rice Terraces-Guilin
Li River-Guilin
View from our flat, the Pearl River























The night where I lost my camera :p
Saying good bye to my favourite Austrian girl ;(





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Things I Can’t Live Without – Beauty Ed.

9:01 PM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments


Things I Can’t Live Without – Beauty Ed.

I am a sucker for beauty products. I like to try out new things and see which one works for me best and which didn’t. Here are the list of beauty things I can’t live without (at the moment).

1.    La Mer ‘The Eye Concentrate’
If you know me well enough, I suffered from really bad dark circles. Like, really bad one. It doesn’t matter if I sleep 3 or 12 hours a day, the dark devils will still be there no matter what (talking about hereditary here). So I’ve tried quiet a handful of eye cream, but none of them works, except this one. But then I did my research online, and many people were recommending this one. So, I take the plunge and buy it and…. it does actually help my dark circle to lighten a little bit. I’m considering this a very good sign already because none of the eye creams I’ve tried so far work, like at all. It comes with a little wand to help picked up the product which when you put them on gives a very cooling sensation, which is a plus point.

Pro: it works.
Cons: kind of expensive
Link:

2.    Chanel Vitalumiere Douceur in Beige 30
Best powder foundation ever. I came across this one accidentally when I went to Chanel store in ION Orchard one day. I didn’t have anything in mind but told the lady I wanted to try something new. So I ended up with this one and a concealer. The concealer didn’t work, but this one is magic. I hate the feeling of wearing something in my face, and this one is super duper weightless. It leaves powdery finish with settle glow, and it looks flawless in pictures. But, this one might work best for those who have normal to dry skin (like myself) because my sister bought this too, and sadly it doesn’t feel and look as good in her skin.

Pro: weightless, gives enough dewiness without looking greasy at all.
Cons: might not work for oily skin
Link:

3.    Nars ‘Pure Radiant” Tinted Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 30 in Alaska
On those days where I’m quite lazy to put anything on, this is my go to base products. I bought it because a youtube beauty blogger was raving it so badly, I just had to. It gives pretty good coverage for a tinted moisturizer and it does not budge in humid weather. For those who like dewy finish and good coverage, this might works well for you.

Pro: good coverage, spf 30!
Cons: hmm.. sometimes it can feel like you’re putting on something in your face.

4.    Clarisonic ‘Mia 2’ Sonic Skin Cleansing System
My holy grail product. I first heard this in youtube because everyone was just…….raving about this one. One of my close friend also use this and liking it so yea. I bought mine from my friend who wanted to sell hers. This is the most amazing thing ever. Maybe it’s just in your mind…you know, suggestions, because everyone is loving it. But it does cleanse your face much cleaner. Since I use the clarisonic, I seldom get (although occasionally I still have it) those big, nasty pimples. My main issue is those whiteheads near my eyes and forehead area, and yes I’m still working on it but the clarisonic had improved my skin quite a lot. Anyway, I’m using their ‘Satin Precision’ brush head from their Luxe line because my skin got irritated quite easily.

Pro: cleanse my face so much better
Cons: you need to buy replacement brush head every 3 months.
Link:

5.    Shu Uemura ‘New Generation Eyelash S Curler’
I found this eyelash curler in one of Michelle Phan video, and found it quite interesting. This curler is shorter compared to normal eyelash curler, and thus it takes more time to get all your eyelash curled but this ensures that each eye lash is curled up. My eyelash is short and sparse, and this helps me to get all of them curled up nicely.

Pro: good for asian eyelashes
Cons: mmmm, nothing?
Link:

6.    SKII ‘Cellumination AuraBright Beauty Essence’
This essence is good for those who wants the kind of ‘glow from within’. In each application, it gives your skin immediate glow which is very very nice. I’ve used this for a good 4 months, but notice no different until I took picture on a night out with flash, and wow. My skin looks super flawless and dewy.... a huge different from just wearing highlighter. My entire face actually kind of glows. 

Pro: gives a very nice glow and healthy looking skin
Cons: kind of expensive

7.    SKII ‘Facial Treatment Essence’
This one is the best selling product of SKII that a lot of people raved about, including myself. When I first started using this I use this as a pre serum treatment before my aura bright essence. But I figured that this product works best for occasional use for my skin. For example, when I got those big cystic acnes, I will wet my cotton pad with this and leave it on for 15 to 20 mins. The next day, the swelling from the acne will reduce. Sometimes I use this to do overall mask using a really thin layer of cotton pad for a little skin ‘pick me up’ treatment. But it is very important to note that there is a possibility of ‘purging’ when you started to use this product as some people might have experienced because they are still adjusting to the pitera ingredient of SKII product. I too suffered from break out when I first using this, but it subsides after a week or so.

Pro: good for reducing acne swelling, redness and irritation
Cons: might not work for some skin type
Link:

8.    Bobbi Brown ‘Corrector’ and ‘Creamy Concealer Kit’
Because of my dark circle, I am always on the hunt for a good concealer. My dark circle is really really bad with dark and purple undertone. This corrector has peachy undertone and thus erased my dark circle completely when coupled with the concealer kit. In terms of the amount of coverage, this combo gives me the best result. But, it can crease quiet bad if you didn’t apply it properly and set it with powder.

Pro: amazing coverage, does not budge
Cons: can crease throughout the day
Link:

9.    Lancome ‘Hypnose Doll Lashes’ Mascara
Best mascara everrrrrrr. This gives me the longest, most volumized lashes ever. I think the shaped of wand made a huge different of the lashes. My sister said my eyes looks its best when I put this mascara on. Its smudge-proof, and last throughout the day. Bonus point? Its super easy to remove.

Pro: long lashes, last long, does not smudge
Cons: nothing
Link:

10. Innisfree ‘The Green Tea Seed Deep Cream”
I loveee Innisfree. My skin falls under the dry category and since using this moisturizer, I never saw any peeled skin in my face. It gives good moisture to my face without feeling greasy at all. Prior this, I was using SK II cellumination ex moisturizer, which was like 5 times the price of this, but this works much much better.

Pro: good for dry skin
Cons: nothing
Link:

11. Moonshot ‘Jelly Pot’ in Mocha Martini
There are two reason why I purchased this product. First, I love YG and this is YG-owned brand, Second I always bought what Lisa Elridge said good. HA! So I bought this during my last Korea trip along with another lipsticks, wasn’t a big fan of the lipsticks but love this jelly pot! This has a really interesting texture for eyeshadows, its jelly like, that’s why its called jelly pot (duh). For someone who doesn’t really like a lot of my eye makeup, I just put this all over my lids and add a little bit of dark brown eyeshadow at the outer corner of my eyes. Easy and quick.

Pro: good pigmentation, last long
Cons: packaging can be quite messy
Link:

12. HERA ‘UV Mist Cushion’ in N25
Best BB cushion I’ve tried so far. I’ve tried one by Laneige and it gives me irritation quite badly, but this one does not. It gives the most dewy finish out of all base products that I’ve tried while you look like you are not wearing anything.
Pro: best dewy finish
Cons: color selection is very limited
Link:

13. Peripera ‘Peri’s Tint Lip Ink’
For those who hate to reapply your lipstick like I do, this is the one for you! This lip ink will not budge at all. Even after oily food, or even if you wipe it with your hand, it will stay in place. Love it on the days where I don’t want to be bothered with reapplying my lipsticks. Talking about laziness to another level!

Pro: long wearing, does not transfer
Cons: its hard to remove
Link:

14. Nature Republic ‘Super Origin CC Cream’
My recent favorite product for base makeup. I rotate this with my NARS tinted moisturizer depending on my mood. This has very little coverage, but feels super lightweight. A complete opposite of the NARS tinted moisturizer. It also has spf 30, and gives dewy finish without looking oily at all. I use this on days where I don’t need much coverage and felt like being nice to my skin because of the skincare property of this product.

Pro: weightless, dewy finish
Cons: no coverage, might not suit all skin tones
Link:

15. Benefit ‘Sun Beam Highlighter’
I have a thing for highlighter and this is my favourite for summer looks. I have medium skin toned, and some days I really love those sun kissed looks. This highlighter gives me the best complexion, which makes me look like I spent days out in the sun (obviously not because I hate being outdoor :p). In fact, I love almost all Benefit highlighters. My second favorite is their Girls Meet Pearls highlighter which I feel is more suitable for those night looks, or those with fairer complexion.
Pro: great for those who has medium skin toned
Cons: nothing
Link:

16. 3CE Creamy Cheek Stick in Sweet Apricot
For my blush on, I always felt that liquid or stick types work best for my skin. This one is my favorite because of the color. It gives a very natural looking color on the cheek, without looking over the top or too much make up. It works best with those BB creams and tinted moisturizer when not set with setting powder, which lasts throughout the day.

Pro: great color selection, very natural look
Cons: nothing
Link:

17. Innisfree ‘Eco Sunblock SPF 50’
Sunblock is always in my essential list. I never leave the house without sunblock even when I’m not wearing any makeup. It is extremely important to wear sunblock. I’ve recently tried this sunblock and liking it so far because it does not feel as sticky as normal sunblocks can be. Good for those who hate the sticky feeling of sunblock, and price wise is very very good.

Pro: not sticky, spf 50, price point is good
Cons: -
Link:

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5 Ways To Get Over A Jerk

3:59 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments


5 WAYS TO GET OVER A JERK

Currently experiencing a bad break up? Or your crush is a jerk? Here are the 5 ways that you could use to get over a guy, or a jerk.

1.    You Are More Than Allowed To Hate Him
Ha! Some people said that it is better to let it go, no matter what he did to you. Really? Or more like….. Are you kidding me? What if he wronged you (like what most jerks will probably do), are you suppose to let it go? The things is, it is better to hate someone for what they have done to you, later than trying to accepting the truth and constantly trying to rationalize what he has done. Oh maybe he did not mean to cheat on me, or oh… maybe he didn’t care much because he was too occupied with work. No, people, or adults to begin with made actions with clear conscious mind. They did whatever they did, whatever the reason is. If someone hurt you, hate them. Say this to yourself… “ who do you think he is to do that to you?”. Don’t bother to try telling yourself whatever bullshit you are trying to say to convince yourself. Hate them for whatever they did, let your emotion occupy your mind and hearts, it will be easier to forget (not forgive) what they have done.

2.    Just Block Him
Some people might say it is childish or immature but whatever works for you. I once believe that it’s not the right thing to do because you let the other person know how much he affects your life. But, once again whatever works for you. If stop hearing how he has moved on with his life help you get through the night, do it. If stop seeing his instagram clubbing oh-my-life-is-so-amazing help you to move on with your life, then do it. Because, I’ve come to realize that it is better to show him that he meant so much to you for now (when you block him), but come back stronger than ever after you have moved on.

3.    Sleep and Eat, or Cry If You Need.
This works for a lot of people that I know. Sleep helps you to forget about something for a moment. Eat, helps you to forget about something for a moment. And cry, well…. After all that time spent on eating and sleeping, it’s time to off load all the emotions that you had.

4.    Be A Better Version of Yourself
Show him what he is missing… oh and the fact that you are never coming back. Stop dwelling in sadness and tears, put on your best dress and a flawless make up for a fun night out. Show him what kind of life you had after he left, or after what he did to you. Sometimes with guys, they need to be reminded of what they are missing or….. More like what they have missed out.

5.    There Are Tons of Fish In The Sea
Yep. He is a jerk, whoever you are trust me you deserved someone better. There are so many guys out there that is worth yourself, why would you degrade yourself and be in misery for someone that is not even worth it? You are worth more than what you think you are!


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How Far Would You Go?

3:16 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments


How Far Would You Go?

Have you ever had that someone that you were dying to get close but you are unwilling to take the risk for, for example a really close friend of yours. It’s like you don’t want to ruin the relationship that you two already had, that’s why you refuse to take the first step. I don’t know if you ever heard this saying that “Possession is the beginning of losing”. When you belong to someone, you bound to get to know them. All the good things and the bad things. The flaws, the wound, the scars that they had, who they are, what kind of a beast they can be. And when you know who they are for real, deep and down… things might not work out. From someone who you thought knows you the best, to a complete stranger. From someone who you were dying to spend time with, to someone who you would never say hello again. Sometimes it’s better to just stay where we are because taking a step forward might be too risky, and you are not willing to risk the relationship that you had now. Lots of people said that your heart knows best, and if you are not sure what to do just listen to what your heart says. But no, in a relationship where it meant so much to you, You’d rather sit back and let it go. Sometimes it’s better to do something that’s logical and rational… even if your heart was ripping apart and you are constantly questioning whether it is the right decision, not for yourself only but for both of you. You know... for all the possibilities that you could have been and could have had.


      Even though I’m dying to get a step closer to you, but the conscious self of me is unwilling and unable to take the first step. Maybe who and what we are right now is the best both of us can and will ever be. 

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If only you say it, I would have run into your arm and we would have probably live happily ever after.

10:18 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments


But you would not and it’s killing me.
Maybe it is my fault for I wish for something more, but you started it all out.

Is it just me or is it you? 

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It Was Never Once Enough

9:39 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments



It Was Never Once Enough.
In life, most people want something that don't belong to them, or chase someone who hurt them but in fact, there is always something and someone who already belongs to them and won't hurt them. You know what I’m saying?

Yes, it is right to fight for something that you want, or to fight for someone that you love but sometimes you don't realize that something that you NEED is already there, or someone who loves you is already there, stood and waiting for you just to come by. 
The point that I just realized is, in life, you fought a lot, but sometime those fights do not lead you to something that you expect to have or to someone that you wish to be with, but they simply lead you to other thing, for example… to another person, who all this time is waiting there in the corner of your life watching you got hurt by thousands jerks, and bawling your eyes out for another useless bastard. Sometimes it is difficult to realize this because you are so preoccupied with all the unnecessary dramas. Yes, unnecessary dramas that you, yourself know better would not lead to anywhere.

But maybe…. just maybe you should stop for a moment and take a look around your life. If you think it was never once enough in your life tell this to yourself… It was more than enough to begin with. 


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Time Heals Everything, But Does It Really?

6:52 AM Nathasya Pricilia B Kristianto 0 Comments


They say time heals everything, but does it really?

I believe almost every single one of people in the world, especially those who got heart broken at least once in their lives, have heard of this notion. I for once believe that it’s true. I saw people in my life moved on from a very bad break up, or broken relationship, even death. I never really thought about it, because in real life it is actually true or at least it seems like it’s true. Only recently, I started question myself…does time really heal your wound or loss? Something that is so intangible, that you can not even see or touch. Could it save one soul?
The thing is… it is not time that heals. Mending a broken heart is no magic, there is no quick method of how to get rid of the pain. It is not time, you just basically used to the absence of love or the inexistence of the other person. You are used to not having them around, you are used them not giving a single shit anymore. When one got heart broken, the heart stung like a bitch. You put yourself in misery because you are still not ready to accept the truth. You are not used to the feeling of loss and emptiness. But, as time goes by, you become someone who lived with the inexistence of the other person. You live your life knowing they will never call you back, that they will never come back. You accept the circumstances, and live with it. When you learned to live with the loss, you slowly become used to it and you slowly forgot how it feels like having the other people around. The memory fades, and your heart heals.
Heart broken, losses, wounds… these are things you could not just go for one good night sleep and be over with. They need time for you, to get used to all the pain and then learn how to live on without the things you used to have. So, does time really heal everything? The answer might be yes and no. 

     

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